


MOONTOWN

by nakamoon (godpsyche)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Comedy, Love Triangles, M/M, Romance, stupid taeil
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-06
Updated: 2019-06-06
Packaged: 2020-04-08 09:21:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19104244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/godpsyche/pseuds/nakamoon
Summary: Moon Taeil is a tragedy. He knows this because of two inexorable facts of his life.1. He’s in love with possibly the most unattainable man ever, Lee Taeyong.2. He’s in love with the second most unattainable man ever, his best friend, Nakamoto Yuta.





	MOONTOWN

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dreamten](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamten/gifts).



> just wanted to get this idea out of my head and ofc this is dedicated to nick, who just wanted some taeil coochie and i'm happy to provide gfghf
> 
> here's part 1! part 2 and 3 are hopefully gonna be released on taeil's bday!! (pray that this actually happens).

part i: **taeil**

 

Taeil first meets Taeyong during the production of that year's Rocky Horror Picture Show.

It's unprecedented, really, because for years Johnny Seo has been begging Taeil to join the show, at least as backstage staff. The answer had always been no; if anyone ever found out about Taeil's singing voice - a great singing voice, if he says so himself - he'd be put in fishnets, heels, a corset, a face full of makeup and then forced to sing Sweet Transvestite in less than it would take him to say no. There's a curse that comes with his blessed vocal chords, one that Taeil isn’t too keen on accepting unless it comes in the form of drunken karaoke nights.

But that year is the year Johnny, his friend of five years, is chosen as the community theater’s director.

 _An achievement!_ Johnny had relayed the news with much excitement, Taeil was thrilled for him. Of course, with great power comes great responsibility, and it was just a mere two days later that his friend called him, sobbing and stressed, informing Taeil that they were short-staffed and _please Moon Taeil, can you, for the love of all that is good, help me out this once?_

Taeil is nothing but a good a samaritan and now Johnny owes him a big one.

So there’s Taeil, old jeans rolled up to his knees, socked feet across the slick stage floor, and splotches of red paint in his clothes and face, when Lee Taeyong -   _beautiful_ and _perfect_ example of the male species - comes up to Taeil with a soft voice and shoes that squeak against the floor.

Taeil doesn't look up at him, not at first, only takes a brief glance at the black leather shoes in front of him as he continues to paint one of the set pieces.

“You're Taeil, I assume?” he hears the other say, a delicate voice that fills the small corner of the stage that Taeil had claimed as his unassuming workstation.

Taeil hums politely, still looking down at the fake castle windows he’s been painting. “Johnny asked for an update on the pieces you're working on.”

“They're -” Taeil looks at them with a pause, “almost done. Not perfect, but the lightning should do most of the job, anyway.”

And then Taeyong laughs, a soft sound that makes Taeil instantly look up, wide eyes and a slowed down heartbeat.

Even from where he’s kneeling down, with a view that would be unfavorable to almost anyone, Taeil gulps down at the sight of the man in front of him.  Pink hair, dark eyes and chiseled features. Taeil’s throat goes instantly dry and he all but scrambles into a standing position, clammy hands still holding on to the painting brush.

“I’m Taeil,” is what he manages to say. Taeyong - although in that moment he was just a nameless attractive man - only raises an amused eyebrow.

“Yes. I figured. Johnny said to look for the cute guy in a yellow shirt.”

Taeil's face reddens in an embarrassingly short amount of time. “Did he really say that?” He looks down at his yellow shirt now stained with paint of different colors. Great, Taeil has an adonis in front of him while he probably looks like a minion.

“No,” he replies with a laugh and his answer does absolutely nothing to still Taeil’s erratic pulse, “I’m Taeyong, by the way. Head costume designer.”

“So you're the one in charge of the fishnets,” is all Taeil can think to mutter just loud enough for the other to hear. He’d be mortified if it weren’t for the quick laugh Taeyong gives.

“It’s a tough job,” he winks once, shaking Taeil to the core of his little gay heart, “See ya around, Taeil.”

And that’s how Taeil develops this biggest, fattest crush on Lee Taeyong.

Now, Taeil knows he isn’t in high school anymore, that the castes and stereotypes and lousy cliques are over. He’d never been one to be impressed by mere pretty faces, in any case. But his confidence is also fragile and crumbling, you couldn't possibly blame him for the self-doubt growing in his heart as his crush on Taeyong did so as well.

 _It’s ok,_ he tries reassuring himself multiple times. Just because Taeyong wears leather jackets and black Doc Martens and is _the prettiest human alive_ doesn’t mean he’d never look at Taeil in a romantic way. Hell, with his soft voice and cute demeanor, Taeyong is anything but a stereotype.

It is on a Tuesday afternoon, a little bit more than a week after they first met, that Taeil approaches Taeyong during their lunch break. They’ve spoken a few times, when their busy jobs allow it, but it’s always been short and initiated by Taeyong, a wave and a smile here and there.

Taeil looks at Kim Doyoung, one of the music directors and an old acquaintance of his. To be honest, they’re not really the best of pals, but being with someone you mildly know is better than having lunch alone. It’s a routine now. “Doyoung,” he coughs, interrupting the other’s very interesting study of his sandwich. “Remember the favor I asked you yesterday?”

“About me distracting whoever is with Lee Taeyong during lunch so you can go flirt with him?” Doyoung’s monotone reply is too honest, he doesn't even look up from his food.

“I never said anything about flirting,” Taeil is mortified. Is his tiny crush really that obvious? “I just want to talk to him about something. Important. Something important about the play.”

Doyoung sighs, most likely not caring about any excuse he’s being given. “What’s so great about Taeyong, anyway? Is it his hair? It’s all fried, you know,” he looks up at the man in question, a few meters away from them, where he always sits near the director’s chair.

Sometimes Taeyong eats alone, he just puts in his earphones and shuts off the world while wiggling along to the music. Taeil finds it incredibly adorable. Other times, however, he has a random staff member whom Taeil just vaguely knows of by his side. Sometimes it’s Johnny, sometimes it’s the guy playing Riff-Raff, Baekhyun, other times it’s one of the choreographers, Ten, who Taeil is mildly intimidated by.

Today, it’s the stage manager, an architecture major that— “No,” Doyoung says the moment his eyes meet Taeyong’s friend. “I know what I said, Taeil, but this is not happening.”

“What? Why not!” Taeil’s affronted. He prepared so much for what he was going to say to Taeyong!

Doyoung shakes his head, “You see who he’s with? I’m not hanging out with fucking Jung Yoonoh, ok, Taeil? I’d rather eat my own foot.”

“ _What?_ What’s wrong with him? Why would you eat your own foot?”

“He’s uhh, annoying for starters. Also, I don’t want to eat my own foot, but if given the choice I’d definitely choose cannibalism over Yoonoh _and_ Taeyong.”

“Doyoung, you promised!  I just want a boyfriend, why don’t you let me have this?” Taeil exclaims; he’s too outraged to realize him and Doyoung are having their first argument. Maybe this friendship is going somewhere.

“You’re being so dramatic right now. You can literally talk to him any other moment of the day,” Doyoung should make eye rolling an art form.

Taeil mumbles something unintelligible under his breath with a grumpy scowl. Doyoung is not impressed by the older man. He says, louder, “I practiced in front of my mirror for a whole hour, Doyoung. An hour.”

“Honestly, that’s just pathetic Taeil.”

“I know.”

There's a pregnant pause before Doyoung slumps down, defeated. “I’ll get Taeyong’s leech off of him for a little bit. I can't promise it's gonna be through friendly methods though.”

“Thats ok!” Taeil grins in gratitude.  “I’ll buy you a drink, I promise.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he waves him away with a sigh, the glasses perched on his face sliding down the bridge of his nose.

Taeil only watches as Doyoung stands up with creaking bones and a roll of eyes. Watches as he walks to the pair, shouts a few cranky words at Yoonoh, then puts his hands in his pockets. For a moment, Taeil thinks Yoonoh is going to give his back to Doyoung and continue his conversation with Taeyong, if judging by his unamused expression is anything to go by.

Taeil lets a sigh of relief when all Yoonoh does is raise his eyebrows and roll his eyes before following Doyoung to wherever it is he’s taking him. God bless Kim Doyoung! Taeil pumps the air in celebration before trying to smooth out all his disarrayed strands of hair. He realizes too late that his hair is going to be a problem.

“Oh no,” he mutters to himself once he realizes he probably doesn't look his best. His hair’s a mess and he didn't get much sleep yesterday, which probably means he looks horrible right now. There's a mustard stain on his jeans for god’s sake! He should've thought this through! This calls for a retreat! Retreat! Maybe if Taeil goes and hides in the restroom until Doyoung comes back it’ll be fine -

“Hey there, Taeil,” he feels a hand on his shoulder, making him jump in surprise. A tremor runs down his spine as soon as he meets eyes with Taeyong. Taeil tries to cover the mustard stain with his left hand.

“Taeyong,” he gives a shaky smile, “Fancy seeing you here.”

“We see each other everyday, Taeil,” the other gives him an odd look before sitting down against the wall, half bitten sandwich in hand. He does so in such a relaxed manner, as if he's not over-thinking or frying his head over what he's going to do next. Taeil aspires to be like Taeyong. Such a nice, beautiful man. "Are you ok?" he interrupts Taeil's dream-like thoughts, cheeks full of food and eyes wide as he looks up at him.

"Yeah, sorry," Taeil tries to smile, sitting next to Taeyong and making sure to accidentally brush elbows with him. "Enjoying your food?" He tries to make conversation like a normal human being would.

Taeyong looks down at his egg sandwich and shrugs, "I guess. I bought it from the cafeteria before coming here." He offers him a piece and Taeil is _so_ tempted to take a bite and share an indirect kiss with Lee Taeyong. His instincts to appear normal don't fail him for once and he politely refuses with a smile.

"What are you doing here?" he asks instead, looking at his own measly omelette.

Taeyong gives a short laugh, pretty and airy, just like him. "I saw that Doyoung ditched you when he left with Yoonoh. Thought I'd make you company, if it's alright with you, that is."

"Of course it is," Taeil says a bit too quickly. He coughs, "Sure. Two is better than one. You're better than Doyoung anyway." He doesn't mean it but he also sort of does. Taeil's a good friend and he appreciates Doyoung's sacrifice.

Taeyong laughs again, his nose crinkling and the whirlpool in Taeil's stomach is growing. "Don't worry, I won't tell him you said that."

He looks down at the strawberry smoothie Doyoung left behind. Suddenly, Taeil has an idea. Sure, it's not his best one; in fact, he should be put in jail of bad ideas. "Do you want some?" he offers Taeyong some of Doyoung's half-filled smoothie.

Taeyong's eyes grow brighter at the pink drink. "Sure!"

Taeil can only watch in wonder as Taeyong's lips touch the straw, sucking lightly on it before the liquid touches his mouth, lightly staining it a pretty pink.

When Taeyong gives it back, Taeil makes sure to drink it the same way he did. He hums in happiness with a satisfied smile.

That's the first kiss he shares with Taeyong, however it is not the last (Taeil supposes it is also his first - and hopefully last - kiss with Doyoung).

-

So weeks go on, then a month, and slowly but surely, Taeil falls head over heels for Lee Taeyong.

He's the first to admit it was a mild crush at first - who then, in their right mind and with a set of working eyes _wouldn't_ have a crush on him. Even Doyoung had admitted one drunken night that Taeyong was fascinatingly pretty. But as the days passed and Taeil found himself spending more time with Taeyong, it wasn't just his dick doing the thinking; the thrumming in his chest became stronger, the pulse in his neck became quicker.

Taeil is not an easy person to impress. Taeil doesn't fall in love too easily. He has his reasons, good ones, at that. But somehow, without knowing, Lee Taeyong managed to be Taeil's exception for the first time in years.

"So why don't you date him?" Yuta asks. The ginger is tossing into the air one of Taeil's most precious plushies.

"Hey -!" he tries taking the teddy bear from him, to no avail. It's not going to happen, not when Taeil is sitting a few paces away from him, attempting to get some homework done.

He sits back down, looking at the blank homework sheet in front of him. "Because this isn't a high school movie," he grits his teeth, shaking his head once. “ _And_ if it were, Taeyong is the male lead, I’m just an extra drinking juice in the background.”

"You are _so_ dramatic, Moon Taeil.” Yuta doesn't give it up. "You like him, just... seduce him or something. Take him out to have dinner or go watch a movie together."

Taeil sighs and turns his chair around, facing Yuta with a tired look on his face. "Listen, Yuta," he explains slowly, as if Yuta were a child. "You know how you have a crush on Sasuke from Naruto?" Yuta nods enthusiastically. "And you know how you're never going to actually marry him?"

"You don't have to be mean and _remind_ me," his friend grumbles, pout adorning his face.

"Well. Taeyong is like that for me. Taeyong is my Sasuke. I'm in love with him, but I understand we're never going to actually be together. It’s kind of like Johnny and his crush on Sehun from EXO."

It's Yuta's turn to look at Taeil like he's the dumbest person alive. He doesn't blame him. "You forget that Sasuke, as much as it pains me, is a fictional character. Sehun is a rich idol who will never even know Johnny exists. Taeyong is a _real_ person. Who you constantly hang out with. C’mon, Taeil, it’s not that hard.”

For a fraction of a second, Taeil feels anger bubble up in him. He's definitely not someone who gets upset easily, he's a chill person, everyone knows that about him. Yuta definitely knows that about him.

"You should be more empathetic, Yuta. Not everyone can have your self-confidence," he spits out. Or tries to, at least. His tone isn't very aggressive, but if Yuta knows Taeil, then Taeil knows Yuta just as well. Well enough to know that maybe that quip hurts more than Yuta lets on. He says after a beat, "Sorry, I didn't mean that."

Yuta shrugs, "I know you didn't." Still, Taeil feels quick remorse over his words. Yuta might be beautiful, at least in Taeil's eyes, but that doesn't mean the empty words of reassurance and confidence Yuta lets out on the daily hold any truth. At least not to Yuta.

"Anyway," Yuta continues, still making eye contact despite any lingering awkwardness because that's the type of person he is,"I know you're scared Taeil, I'm just saying maybe consider the possibility of dating Taeyong. You seem to really like him."

Taeil nods and gives him a weak smile, one that Yuta probably sees through.

The thing is, he's into Taeyong. He's into Taeyong _so much._ Sometimes Taeil even dreams of date nights with him, of going around the city and holding hands and having lunch together and it's insane. When did this happen to him?

There are two things holding him back.

The first one is a deep feeling of uneasiness within him, like a black cloud in his heart that's waiting to grow. It keeps whispering to Taeil: _Taeyong can't possibly like you back, he's too perfect for you_. Taeil is just a simple boy with a small group of friends and nice enough eyebrows. That's  it.

And, even if for some strange reason Taeyong did want anything to do with him, there's a million things that could go wrong at any given moment. Maybe he thinks Taeil is something he's not, all the expectations of a relationship will slowly eat him away.

"Is it anxiety?" Yuta asks. Taeil's must give himself away, or maybe Yuta deserves more credit that Taeil gives him. "You need to work on that."

Taeil sighs, "In part, yes. Don't make it sound so easy."

Yuta laughs. The kind of laugh that makes the world a better place, wide, big, and _utterly_ genuine. "I know it's not easy. Trust me." He scoots over and pats the small space next to him, "Come here, let's watch a funny video or something."

"I have to study, Yuta. Exams start on Tuesday, you know? You're out here relaxing and doing nothing, I'm scared for you."

He waves him away, already taking his phone out. "I got it all under control. Don't worry."

Of course he does, everything always works out for Yuta. Somehow. "Ok, scoot over more. Let's watch some ant-eater videos."

"I'm glad you understand me on a subatomic level."

Taeil snorts and nothing feels better than to lay down with his best friend in the whole wide world. All his worries gone for even just a moment.

Because, the thing is, Taeil wants nothing more than to give Taeyong his whole heart. But how could he? Yuta already owns it.

-

Meeting Yuta wasn’t love at first sight or anything embarrassing that Taeil regrets.

No. As far as meeting the love of your life goes, it was rather mundane. Taeil met Yuta at the bus stop. And even then, the first time he saw him, Taeil didn’t pay much attention to him. Just an awkward meeting of the eyes and an awkward getting into the same bus and an awkward getting off at the same bus stop.

That went on for about two weeks. The first week Taeil paid him no mind, he was just a weird little guy that went to the same high school as him and had a pretty bad hair dye. He was pretty though, Taeil did notice that, and with those looks, he felt that maybe Taeil should’ve known who Yuta was. One of those popular guys, maybe.

The second week, however, Taeil couldn’t ignore the intense stares he was receiving from the other boy. He seemed jumpy, for one, and with each day that passed, the distance between their seats shortened.

On Wednesday, Taeil grew tired.

“Do you need something?” he tried to say as politely as he could whilst letting the boy know he was aware of the creepy stares.

Yuta only smiled, the first smile Taeil ever received from him. Even from that moment, Taeil felt something stir up inside. He ignored it in lieu of a questioning raise of the brow.

“Well,” Yuta said entirely too cheerfully, “If we’re going to see each other everyday like this on our way to school, we might as well be friends.”

Taeil couldn’t refute that.

It’s strange, he thinks, how one day you can look at a person like he’s no one and the next they’re your best friend in the world.

He never questioned it, even if everyone else did. Because quiet, odd Taeil hanging out with soccer player and heart-stealer Nakamoto Yuta was such a weird travesty that no one expected. Taeil was ok with it, of course he was, because everyone who said that didn’t really _know_ Yuta. They didn’t know his quirky humor, they didn’t know how easily he cried or how he was always there to lend a shoulder to everyone who needed it.

He knew what made Yuta laugh, he knew Yuta suffered from self-doubt at night when the middle of the night creeped in and he had to Facetime Taeil, tears in his eyes and in need of reassurance. He knew exactly the kind of horror movies scared the shit out of him, he knew how much he missed Osaka, how he loved going back to Japan during spring time. Taeil knew Yuta was scared of what the future had in store for him, he knew how his natural undyed hair looked like under the sunlight. He knew how kind, stubborn, and passionate Nakamoto Yuta was.

And then one day, Taeil sort of noticed love wasn’t just something to read about. It was there, facing him square in the eye.

-

“I don’t think we’ve ever done this before,” Yuta mentions lazily, the wind blowing the hair out of his face.

“Do what?” Taeil asks, his eyes heavy with drowsiness. He can hear the summer cicadas sing in dissonance.

“Stare at the stars like this,” he doesn't look at Taeil, his stare completely enamored by the dark sky above them. “It's romantic, isn't it?”

The words catch Taeil off-guard. The flush in his cheeks is too bright. “ _Ha-ha_ ,” he manages to say, sarcasm dripping from his tone, “It was all your idea, anyway.”

Yuta laughs, “Best friends can totally watch stars together.”

“Of course they can.”

Yuta hums, contently.  “And I’m not saying it in a no homo kind of way.”

“Of course not.”

Taeil pauses. He looks at the night sky as well, notices the little patterns of stars that shine brightly upon them. Graduation is tomorrow. If this were a movie, he thinks, this would be the last day he’d see Yuta, they’d go their separate ways and maybe Taeil would confess, right here, right now.

It’s not a movie and this isn't some random town in America. He’ll see Yuta tomorrow, and the next and the next. They'll go to the same university and Taeil will keep his secret just a little bit longer.

“Have you ever thought about us that way?” he asks. Maybe the stars give him a tiny bit of bravery that night.

Taeil feels Yuta turn his head at him, this time, it is him who doesn't look back. He's trying to appear nonchalant, on the inside, however, Taeil feels every bone within him tremble.

“You mean… romantically?”

“Sure.” His heart thrums.

Yuta lets out a short, airy laugh. It sounds like bells, Taeil has always thought this. Loud, chiming bells. “Of course I have. It’d be weird if I hadn’t, right? I remember Johnny asked me about it last year.”

“Really? About us?” He finally turns to look at him.

Yuta hums, nodding his head, “Yeah. He asked if we were… an item, I guess. And then I told him that no, of course not.”

“Of course not.”

“Right.”

Some days, Taeil thinks Yuta knows about his feelings. That he's ignoring them on purpose because that's better than to deal with them and the mess that is Moon Taeil.

Other days, he thinks Yuta is none the wiser; that he genuinely knows nothing about it at all and that Taeil will have to carry it all by himself for the rest of his life.

He doesn't know which is worse. And so, he keeps quiet.

-

It's the last performance of Rocky Horror that year. After a month of pre-production and another one of bi-weekly performances, Taeil is sad to see it end.

He's kind of grateful to Johnny for borderline forcing him to join the production. He's met great people, contributed to a wonderful and very gay show _and_ it even made him feel a little useful. However, there's a great emphasis on the meeting great people part.

"You have to join us, Taeil, you have to!" Taeyong jumps up and down, a giant smile perched on his face, the adrenaline and rush of the cast's final bow making everyone cheer and yell in congratulations.

Taeil feels electricity run from where Taeyong touches his forearm. It's too absurd but he can already imagine the flush that's creeping up his cheeks. "Isn't it late already?" he asks instead. "We have to clean everything up and then make our way downtown. I don't think I can drink too late into the night."

"Don't worry, Johnny says clean up is tomorrow," Taeyong smiles and, more than his words, it's the indulgent smile on his face that could convince Taeil of doing anything.

"Ok, I guess I'll just take an uber if I have to," he agrees, liking the way Taeyong's eyes light up.

"That's the spirit!" he feels a heavy hand slap him on the shoulder. "Way to go, Taeil!"

Taeil winces, rubbing his shoulder with a pout. "Thanks Johnny. I can't wait to see you smashed off your face, honestly."

The other gives him a wink before walking away, "Trust me, The John _is always_ the life of the party."

It doesn't sound like anything too good can come out of a drunk Johnny, but Taeil isn't going to complain, not if it will give him  blackmailing material against him in the future.

When he turns to look back at Taeyong, he finds that the object of his affections and wanks is already looking back at him. Taeil feels his throat close up and it's not exactly a bad feeling. It feels a little like hope, even if it seems downright dumb to anyone else. He clears his throat, "I'll go meet up with Doyoung, see you in a bit."

Taeyong smiles again, waving goodbye for the time being.

He scurries away, his heartbeat a little faster than usual and Taeil lets his mind roam freely into a realm of possibilities.

In the parking lot, he meets up with Doyoung, who doesn't look too thrilled about being dragged to a house party when he could be going to sleep instead.

"Duties of a music director," Doyoung shrugs as they get on the car. Taeil only half believes him, after all, even Doyoung needs a break in the form alcohol and food.

They stop for gas once and then head straight to Taemin, the main choreographer’s house. Taeil thinks it's a little lame that they're going straight to the party but, to his surprise, the house is already filled with most cast members and staff, at least the ones who agreed going in the first place.

“I’ll go get a drink,” Doyoung leaves his side and heads straight to the kitchen at alarming speed. Taeil only watches him go, still near the entrance, awkward limbs and wandering gaze.

He’s a friendly person, he is, but parties have never been much of his element, especially with people he isn't particularly close with. Taeil sighs warily before moving to the empty couch closest to him. Maybe he can text Yuta and ask what he's doing.

He really should've gotten a drink just like Doyoung did. That sounds like an excellent idea, he thinks before pocketing his phone and getting up.

“Well, look who actually made it,” Johnny booms, suddenly appearing next to him. He already has a beer in hand and two smaller men by his side. “Taeil, buddy.”

“Oh, he _is_ cute,” Ten says, looking more than enough tipsy. Taeil doesn't know him very well, only knows he does amazing makeup and that he likes to talk with the volume of a thousand trumpets. And of course, that he loves to permanently stick himself to either Johnny or Taeyong. He doesn't mind the Johnny part of that fact; what he _does_ mind is that Ten always seems to be around Taeyong whenever Taeil has tried to gather up the courage to go and talk to him. It’s _hard,_ he needs at least a five minute pep talk with himself.

“You’ve met him before, Ten,” Taeyong grumbles from the other side of Johnny, fidgety and almost - nervous. “What are you saying?”

Ten snorts and gives Taeil another glance over that makes Taeil break into a sweat. “Of course I have.”

“Do you want a drink, Taeil?” Taeyong is quick to interrupt, leaning forward and grabbing Taeil’s hand in frantic motion. Ten cackles and Johnny looks on amused, sharing a cryptic glance with Taeil that he honestly doesn't understand.

“Sure,” he says instead because Taeyong's hand is soft and warm and Taeil is vibrating in slight happiness. He also, very much, wants a drink.

Taeyong smiles once before dragging him far into the house, just the same way he’d seen Doyoung do before.

“Do you… do you drink a lot?” he asks to make simple conversation. He kind of regrets it though, _what kind of question?_ Taeil knows for sure both Johnny and Ten drink frequently, and if they're Taeyong's close friends, he can't be much different.

“Not really,” Taeyong shrugs. Oh. “Only on occasion when I’m peer pressured,” he laughs cutely, his shoulders shaking in soft vibration. Taeil wonders if he's truly whipped or if Taeyong just has that effect on people. “I don't blame you for thinking that though.”

“Oh, no, I didn't mean-” Taeil tries fixing it because he’s dumb.

“It’s ok, don't worry about it,” Taeyong's smile doesn't reach his eyes, Taeil can see that, but the hold Taeyong has on their clasped hands gets tighter.

Taeil hadn’t even realized they were holding hands, too preoccupied with their close proximity as they huddled and avoided drunk people. Taeil wonders how they’ve managed to get drunk so quickly, it’s been maybe a mere hour since they left the theatre. Seeing Kim Jungwoo down two shots of straight vodka in five seconds may answer his question.

Next to him, Taeyong snorts, “Beer ok with you?”

He nods and takes one of the cans from Taeyong’s hands. He’s not a beer fan but it does the job just fine. Besides, it’s not like he wants to actually get drunk, not when he’s actively trying not to embarrass himself in front of the man he wants to marry. In theory, whom he wants to marry _in theory._

He takes a gulp of beer with a shake of the head before looking at the makeshift dance floor where Ten and Yukhei are attempting some sort of choreography that is very much failing. He points to them, “Do you dance?” _Do you want to dance?_ Is what he wants to ask but also he’d never actually do it, not this sober.

Taeyong nods, those shining eyes sparkling yet again. It’s a look that Taeil loves. “Yes but not like this.”

“Oh. Then how?” he asks curiously. Taeil realizes he doesn’t know much about Taeyong and he wants to change that, Taeil discovers that he wants that nothing more in this moment.

“I’m minoring in dance,” he smiles sheepishly before taking a sip of his own beer, “That’s where I met Taemin and Ten.”

“Wow.” He imagines Taeyong dancing something fancy, looking every bit of cool, with his pink hair and black eyeliner. He says too quickly, “I bet you’re the best.”

Taeyong throws his head back in laughter, the flush of his cheeks deepening with each sip he takes. “Taeil, you’re such a charmer and you don’t even know it.”

“Um?” he doesn’t know what to say so he does the next normal thing and ignores Taeyong, instead looking at Yukhei and Mark Lee do the wave in drunken stupor.

“Wanna get out of here?” is Taeyong’s response as he finishes his drink.

Taeil spits the beer on his mouth, choking and surprised at Taeyong’s words.

“I… I didn’t mean it like that!” Taeyong exclaims, quickly patting him on the back to make sure Taeil doesn’t drop dead right then and there. “I mean outside. Taemin’s got a backyard.”

Taeil doesn’t know if he feels disappointment or relief. Everyday is a struggle. “Ok,” he nods, still coughing up beer, “Let’s do that.”

They grab one of the six-packs from the fridge and it is Taeyong, yet again, that leads the way.

Taeyong is right, away from all the loud music and make-shift party lights that adorn the inside of the house, Taemin’s backyard is quiet, only a single soft porch lamp lighting the small space. There’s a few chairs, but Taeyong ignores them and heads for the wooden floor, just near the corner of the porch. He looks at Taeil with expectant eyes and Taeil can’t help but follow him.

“Are you the party type?” he hands him another beer, “Please tell me, Taeil, you’re such a mystery, you know?”

“Me?” he laughs in amusement, the fizz of the beer too loud, “I’m not a mystery, I’m just boring. And no, I’m definitely not the party type.”

“Me neither,” Taeyong says slowly. “And don’t call yourself boring. You’re the coolest person in this party.”

“Now you’re just trying to make me feel better.” He looks down at Taeyong’s scruffy boots and painted nails, they’re a pretty cloudy blue. His washed down pink hair and giant, dark eyes. Taeil has never met anyone as interesting and cool as Lee Taeyong.

He thinks back to Yuta for a fraction of a second. _He's not that cool,_ Taeil thinks. Not nearly as cool and lovable as Taeyong, who makes Taeil’s insides turn to mush.

Still, Taeil hates the fact that he's thinking of Yuta right now, just inches away from Taeyong's face.

“Taeil, don't freak out,” Taeyong says softly, making Taeil look up at him. “But I kind of want to kiss you right now.”

“Oh,” Taeil exhales.

He can feel Taeyong inch closer, his body heat extending to Taeil; his fingers grazing Taeil’s chin.

And Taeil is burning up; never in a million years did he think he would hear those words from Taeyong. Is this a prank? He doesn't seem like that type to make such a cruel joke at Taeil's expense. But what other logical solution is there to Taeyong's words and the way he's staring at Taeil right now.

And he's thinking of Yuta; of how much he's in love with him, of how long he's been waiting for him to realize Taeil's feelings and his own.

But for once, Taeil is going to be a little selfish. He can't wait anymore, not when Taeyong's offering himself so lovingly, not when Taeil's heart is skipping a beat so happily. Yuta’s not here and, even if he was, he’d have no right over Taeil.

His grip doesn't waver as he holds on to the back of Taeyong’s head, his hair soft against the tip of his fingers. He likes the way Taeyong gasps in delighted surprise and takes it as a cue to crash his lips against Taeil’s own.

Everything feels suspended in time and every stroke of the lips, every stroke of tongues sends pleasure down Taeil’s spine.

But even as he kisses Lee Taeyong, Taeil _knows_ his heart is at two places at once.

 

-

 

**Author's Note:**

> pls expect part 2 and 3 soon!
> 
> thank you for reading!!!


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